I’m not really sure why, but they were trying to freeze us out at the last treatment! We were freezing! I had my heated blanket and was still cold! I decided coffee was what I needed, so Ashlee fixed me a cup. This coffee is HOT, and I’m not so much a fan of a burnt tongue. SO, I decided I would hold the coffee until it was cool enough for me to drink because that would at least keep my hands warm. By this time my Benadryl had started to kick in and I started to drift off. You know your head will jerk when you fall asleep sitting up? Well, my hands started to relax similar to that. Suddenly, I heard Ashlee say, “Angela, put your coffee down before you spill hot coffee all over yourself!” She looks after me really well, and I don’t know what I would do without her! After I finished getting my drug, I awoke to find my chemo nurse and another nurse talking about me. My nurse came over to me and asked if I would mind talking to another patient who was getting her first treatment. Her treatment plan is the same as mine. After talking with her, it turns out we have more in common that just our treatment plan. She is also triple negative and BRCA1. She hasn’t had surgery yet, but is planning to go the same route I did. We exchanged information, and we have been communicating since. My desire has been that God would use my experience and what I’ve gone through to help others and to point others to Him. I’m thrilled that He is giving me opportunities to do just that!
If there were one word I could use to sum up this day, it would be OVERWHELMED!
I woke up this morning and had a massive to do list in my head of all the things I needed to complete today before having treatment tomorrow. I don’t know how I got so behind on my pre-chemo checklist, but it happened. I’m convinced it has to do with the change in days from Tuesday to Thursday. I was able to slowly check things off my list, and it’s all going to get done before 11PM! Miracles never cease!!!! In addition to the checklist, I was feeling a little overwhelmed by trying to figure out exactly what I want or need to ask my oncologist tomorrow for my post chemo life. I think I just want to be sure to ask anything and everything possible, but it’s not like I’m done with my oncologist after tomorrow…she’s stuck with me now!
Aside from feeling overwhelmed by my crazy to do list, I’ve been overwhelmed with emotion today. My co-workers surprised me today with a last chemo celebration. I’ve been so overwhelmed by their love, support, and encouragement through this entire journey. I started crying and that was all she wrote! So many people brought cards. I took some time this evening to read them, and tears flowed AGAIN! As I read the cards, so many referenced my attitude, my strength, and how I’ve walked this journey with grace. I did choose to keep a positive outlook, but that’s been hard at times. My strength and walking with grace is ALL God! I’ve been clinging to this verse, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear; I will help you.’” (Isaiah 41:13)
I can’t believe it’s the night before my LAST chemo treatment!!!! I know it sounds crazy, but it feels like the time passed quickly and slowly all at the same time. I know that this isn’t the end to my journey; nor is it the end of God using this experience to help others.
I know that last sentence sounded like it was the end of me sharing my story here, but it's not...